Hello Evan Geisert. My name is [YOUR NAME] and I’m calling from a new organization called Offset. We’re currently researching and developing novel methodologies for generating carbon offsets. For example, recent methodologies include avoided emissions by sleep time, time theft as avoided emissions, or direct action as temporary carbon storage. I am doing research on new methodologies and did you know that if you’re able to continue to listen to this voice message, we could actually generate a carbon credit right now. A credit that is the first step towards offsetting some of the emissions you’ve generated in your work activities. Shall we try it? First, take a deep breath. In and out. Now picture yourself lying on the warm sand of a beautiful beach. It’s nearly midday and the wind is gently caressing your legs. You can hear the waves breaking in the distance as the sun warms your face. Take another breath in and out. Now imagine you are lying on that same beach but the surface of the ocean is 20 ft above you. You are gently floating, being pulled by the underwater currents of an ocean 20ft higher than where it is today. The ocean is warm too. Much warmer than today and where there were fish, there are now only jelly fish.